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21st-Century Wizards

If your computer has ever locked up, your data has disappeared, or that %$#&! printer won’t clear the queue, you’ve probably made a panicked call to your IT department.

In my white-collar days, I managed the technical support department for an international software company. For five years, I helped our users solve their problems, get the program set up and working correctly, and jury-rigged workarounds until the developers could address known issues. Here are some tips for you:

  1. Do not cuss out the IT desk. We know you’re frustrated, but we are trying to help. We didn’t write the code. We do pass along all issues to the development team, and sometimes it takes time to get a bug fix out to everyone.
  2. Chances are you’re calling in with a known issue. Follow directions carefully; don’t go rogue.
  3. Sometimes the Help Desk staff forgets that not everyone breathes this stuff. If you don’t understand an instruction or reference, just politely ask for it to be repeated or restated.
  4. Please only call about the program you purchased from us, not generic internet or email issues.
  5. Do NOT cuss out the IT desk.

It’s a stereotype that computer jockeys run on junk food and caffeine, but stereotypes exist for a reason. While we can’t help with the munchies, we do offer some great I.T. mugs. Pick some up for the folks that keep your software up to date and your laptop virus-free!

1. What manual?

If you’re not going to read the How-To guide, at least pay attention when the IT crew tells you to do something.

2. Recurring Error

There’s an old joke among support staff that most errors can be coded as an ID10-T fault.

3. Tech Support. How can I help you, Mom?

I should have put this in the list above, but if you know someone who works with computers, they really don’t want to help you with yours after work.

4. It says I won!

Stop clicking on pop-ups and unknown attachments, people.

5. Hand me the code wrench

Deciphering tech issues is as much an art form as it is a science. First to figure out what the complaint is really about, then to dig into the programming to try and find the fix.

6. A: Beards

Q: What do hipsters and wizards have in common? Though I have to say, the hipster habit of picking up old things just for the novelty factor doesn’t seem to have hit programming languages. There’s a reason nobody uses BASIC anymore.

7. There’s an app for that.

As more and more people do most of their work and play online, “IT” can easily stand for one or the other.

8. This keyboard’s broken

Ever pointed a TV remote at someone and clicked “Mute?” Your support staff does the exact same thing. We also try “Delete” and “Control.”

9. User does not meet system requirements.

Another classic IT remark. Right up there with “Replace operator and reboot.”

10. It’ll be fun, they said.

I’ve taken programming classes. There’s a reason I’m not a programmer.

These are just a few of the great I.T. mugs we have available. And remember, you can always have them customized for your in-house I.T. team!