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Ever since Hippocrates cracked open his first chest to, you know, maybe try and fix somebody instead of just chalking it up to bad luck, we have revered our doctors. Books, movies, and television shows get a lot of mileage out of doctor characters, whether they are the hero (Mark Greene on ER), the antihero (Gregory House), the villain (Victor Frankenstein), or the comedic relief (Dr. Rumack from Airplane!). And those are just medical doctors off the top of my head. That’s not even counting whip-wielding doctors of Archaeology (Jones),...

My mother had the unique ability to turn any car trip—no matter how short—into an hours-long, whirlwind tour of local restrooms. I suspect it had to do with the fact that she wouldn’t get in a car without a Thermos full of ice water. A Thermos that was the approximate size of a prosthetic leg.

Being a practical sort, I decided that when I had my own family to cart around, I wouldn’t allow any drinks in the car. Not only would it prevent spills, we’d make much better time. Of...